I Gave Up My Career For My Spouse’s Job, Now What?

Your Partner’s Career Meant Putting Yours on Hold

Are you longing for a career of your own, a space where your dreams, passions and gifts can make an impact? Supporting a career that requires frequent moves, international assignments, or long periods away from home has meant making difficult choices. You may have stepped away from your own career because maintaining full-time work alongside relocations, visas, childcare responsibilities, and carrying the emotional load alone became impossible. Now you may find yourself asking:

“Who am I beyond the role I have played for my family?”
“Is it too late to rebuild a career or discover something new?”
“How do I find my direction after years of putting my own ambitions on hold?”

There may not be a simple way back to the career path you once imagined. But there is always a way forward. There may not be a way back to your former career path but there is always a way forward.

This is your opportunity! Your spouse’s many work absences cannot stop you from growing on a personal and professional level, even if it is just planting ‘seeds’ to see what grows.

“Be patient with yourself. Self-growth is tender; it’s holy ground. There’s no greater investment.” – STEPHEN R COVEY

If you do not have much time, capacity, or physical strength (the children may still be young, you are suffering from an illness, and there is simply no time), you may want to start by planting SEEDS. This has the advantage of being flexible and expanding as children grow older and time permits.

The following steps walk you through the incremental process of planting SEEDS. Move from one to the other: Start-Explore-Eliminate-Develop-Strategise

· Start with something. Just pick one thing. Doing what you seem most attracted to and where you can be proactive: volunteer at the Women’s Club, join the PTA, take a class, do anything available that you might enjoy. Go where your interest is awoken. Make sure your involvement is on a trial basis so you have the opportunity to change direction. This is not about just ‘doing something, anything, just to keep busy’. This is about taking the first step towards investing in yourself for the future.

· Explore new roles, and push your limits. Offer to speak at your local Expat group, work with children, youth, and adults. This is the opportunity to try!

· Eliminate what is not giving you joy, what is not growing.

· Develop, dig deeper into activities and roles that are the most promising. Ask your coworkers, the other volunteers to give you specific feedback. Start investigating possible training, Look into how the skills that you have and those that you may need can be developed.

· Strategise. You may now be in a position to have a 5- or 10-year personal plan. This will turn into more of a Personal Development Plan. You can use it for your professional life, to grow a set of skills, or simply to invest in developing as a person.

A mum I interviewed shared that she signed up to an online course on ‘How to write your own book’ at 3AM one morning! She just needed something that had nothing to do with motherhood or breastfeeding! It turned out, it wasn’t the right thing for her, but it led her to what she is doing today, writing her own blog.

Ready to Start Planting Your Own Seeds?

If you have spent years supporting your partner’s career, managing moves, raising children, and adapting to a life built around someone else’s work, it can be difficult to know what comes next for you.

The S.E.E.D.S. Framework will help you move from feeling stuck or uncertain to exploring your strengths, interests, possibilities and next steps — one seed at a time.

Through the mini course and workbook, you will be guided through a practical process to reconnect with yourself, identify opportunities, and begin building a future that fits your unique circumstances.

Explore the S.E.E.D.S. Framework mini course and workbook here:

Your next chapter does not have to start with a huge leap. Sometimes it starts with planting one small seed.